Like most of us women, I too, suffer from the Disease of Comparison! It's an ugly, ugly disease that leaves you lifeless and defeated and robbed of ALL joy and contentment!
Yesterday was an especially high "disease" day for me. I didn't know just how bad it was until I got a phone call from a dear, sweet friend and sister in Christ. Our conversation was going along swimmingly and all of a sudden it happened! TEARS! I did not realize just how deep I had stuffed all the doubt, the fear, the LIES of comparison until they welled up, came to the surface and WOOSH! An out-pouring of emotion!
((and with all my heart, I believe that phone call was divinely appointed!))
{Please bare with me if this seems a bit winding and all over the place.}
Here's the short of it. I have weight (head) issues. I was over weight as a child and called LOTS of names by a family member with whom I sought love and acceptance from for many years. When I was 14, I lost all that extra weight and went from a size 14 to a size 5. But somehow, I never really "saw it". I continued to compare myself to my friends.. I never felt like I was "as thin as they were". Therefore, I never had contentment and joy! My soul never found rest.
I never saw what everyone else saw... ME!
Fast forward 3 kids later and a 12 year battle with thyroid issues (hypo) and I find myself in a similar boat. I am battling my weight and not feeling "good enough". I have lost sight of the positive changes and weight loss and success I am having, and have begun focusing on all the lies Satan is telling me. That once again,
"I AM NOT ENOUGH".
See, I believe that one of the reasons I still fight this battle is because I have not yet learned the lesson GOD is trying to teach me! That I AM ENOUGH!! HE created me! Therefore, I am perfect JUST AS I AM! It's a twisted kind of freeing knowing what the lesson is! But it's soo frustrating not believing His truth!
My friend reminded me last night that my worth does not come from circumstance, or the way I look, or my successes or my failures... My WORTH comes from the fact that I am the daughter of the King! My worth comes from HIS LOVE for ME!
I know all of this! I do! It's just that I don't know how to make my heart believe what my head already knows!
This morning I woke up with, still, a heavy heart. So I thought I'd peruse Proverbs 31 and see what kind of biblical truth I could focus on today.
WELL!!
My God never ever fails me!! EVER!!
People, I cannot make this stuff up!!
THIS was the devotional YESTERDAY!! (you know... the day I was going thru ALL THIS STRUGGLE!!)
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Daily Devotion for May 30, 2012 Measuring Up
"When they measure themselves by themselves and compare
themselves with themselves, they are not wise." 2 Corinthians 10:12b
(NIV)
Do you ever compare yourself to other women and feel like you don't
quite measure up? Maybe you feel like you're not as smart, pretty, fun,
organized or as good at _______ as they are.
It is so easy to think that if we had more or knew more, we'd be
secure. But the truth is, even people who "have it all" still struggle
with feelings of insecurity. The Bible opens with the story of a woman
who had everything but it still wasn't enough (Genesis 2).
God had established Eve's worth as His child and the crown of His
creation. He also gave Eve every woman's desire: intimacy, beauty,
security, significance, and purpose. Yet Satan conjured up feelings of
insecurity by getting Eve to take her eyes off what she had and focus
on what she didn't have.
Boy, can I relate. Like Eve, I've heard Satan's whispers telling me
I'm not all I could be — or should be. One day I was reading her story
in Genesis 2 and I noticed that his questions and suggestions were
intended to plant seeds of doubt in Eve's heart. He wanted her to doubt
God and herself.
The enemy's whispers tempted Eve to try to "be" more and "have" more
by seeking significance apart from God's provision. He convinced her
something was missing in her life and that the forbidden fruit would
make her be "like God."
It was a foolish comparison, but all comparisons are. Yet don't we do it all the time? If
only I was like her...if only I had a house like hers, a husband like
hers, a job like hers...if only my children behaved like hers...If only
_______, then I'd feel significant, satisfied and secure.
In today's key verse, Paul warns us that those who "measure
themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, are
not wise" (2 Cor. 10:12 NIV). Comparison will always leave us feeling
like we don't measure up. We can try to do more and be more, yet it's
never enough.
If only Eve had focused on who she was and what she had as a child of God. If only we could too.
Yet Satan wants us to focus on our flaws and feelings of inadequacy,
then exhaust our energy figuring out how to hide them. But we don't
have to go along with his schemes. Instead we need to equip ourselves
to recognize his lies, refute his temptations with truth, and focus on
God's acceptance, security, and significance. Then we can thank God for
His provision and His promises that remind us of who we are in Him:
I am accepted...
Ephesians 1:3-8 I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child.
Colossians 1:13-14 I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins.
Colossians 2:9-10 I am complete in Christ.
I am secure...
Romans 8:28 I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:31-39 I am free from condemnation. I can't be separated from God's love.
Philippians1:6 I am confident God will complete the good work He started in me.
I am significant...
Ephesians 2:10 I am God's workmanship.
Ephesians 3:12 I may approach God with freedom and confidence.
Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Author and psychologist, Dr. Neil T. Anderson says, "The more you
reaffirm who you are in Christ, the more your behavior (and beliefs)
will begin to reflect your true identity!"
So, the next time we're tempted to use the measuring stick of comparison - let's commit to measure UP by focusing upward on Christ and who we are in HIM!
Lord, thank You that in Christ I'm chosen, holy, and dearly
loved. When I'm tempted to measure up according to the world's
standards or my foolish comparisons, help me recognize Satan's lies,
refuse his temptations and rely on your truth about me instead. Remind
me that such confidence as this is mine through Christ—not that I am
competent in myself to claim anything for myself, but competence comes
from You. In Jesus' name, Amen. (Colossians 3:12; 1 Peter 5:9; 2
Corinthians 3:4-5)
{WELCOME Encouragement for Today Readers & Online Study Friends!!}
And now I want us to dig a little deeper. Have you ever stopped to ask, “Who is saying these things? Who is causing me to doubt myself? Is it me? Has something from my past led me to believe this? Or is it the enemy of my soul disguising his voice as my own?”
It is crucial for us to realize we have an enemy. Satan is the father
of lies, and there is no truth in him (John 8:44). And he loves when we
believe his deception and fall into the distraction of feeling
inadequate and insecure. {It’s a huge distraction!}
The meaning of the word lie is “a falsehood with the intent to deceive.” Satan intends to deceive us and he does so by getting us to take our eyes off of who we are in Christ and focus on our flaws. That way we’ll spend our days figuring out how we can hide them. It’s exactly what he did with Eve:
“Then the eyes of both [Adam and Eve]
were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves
together and made coverings for themselves.
Then the man and his wife heard the sound
of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day,
and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the
Lord God called to the man, ‘Where are you?’
He answered, ‘I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.’” (Gen. 3:7–11)
In response, God asked who told them they were naked. In other words, “Who told you that something is wrong with you?” By asking this, God made sure they knew someone was casting shame on them—and it wasn’t Him.
The enemy whispered lies into their hearts, causing them to move away from Him and from each other.
Satan’s intent is the same for you and me as it was for Eve, but we
don’t have to go along with him. Instead we can refute his lies and
temptations with truth. If we have put our trust in Christ as our
Savior, we can stand on the promises of who we are in Him.
When you’re tempted to measure up today, focus “up” instead and remember Whose you are and who you are!
.end.
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It completely moved me to tears to read this! It was confirmation to me that GOD IS WITH ME! He knows what I am going thru! He has never left my side! If I would just "BE STILL AND KNOW" that He is God... I would feel His presence and His arms around me! Just as a father holds his child when her heart is aching.. HE IS HOLDING ME! Just as He always has!
And THAT, my friends, sits well with my soul!
Thank you for sharing this part of my life with me.
hugs,
k.
