Don't mean to be a debbie downer...

When I decided to write this blog I decided to use it as an outlet. Sometimes it will be a creative outlet.. other times it will be an emotional-every-day-life outlet.. Today is one of the latter... 
My last post was a glimpse of my role as parent trying to pick up the pieces of my 18 yr old daughters broken heart.  Today, I find myself frantically picking up the pieces of my own heart.  I don't think anyone can ever quite prepare you for motherhood and all it entails. When your child is an infant, they rely on you for their very existance~ every single second of every single day. You heart fills with more love than you ever thought possible for it to hold!  As they grow older and become more independant (which is the ultimate goal in how we raise them, right?!) we have to learn to allow them to make choices and suffer the consequences. Although it can be heart wrenching, we know this is good parenting and it will shape them into becoming solid human beings (Lord's willing).  But what I don't think we can ever really be prepared for is the task of letting go... really letting go... allowing them to find themselves, figure out thier own future and find the path that God has created for them. We so desperately want to guide them, hold their hand, lead them and talk them thru it all. But sometimes, we just have to let go and let God. I write this now thru tear filled eyes while giving God my heart to hold and my daughter's to lead.  The love we have for this child is soo deeply rooted and ingrained... how in the world do I step back, drop her vulnerable hand and allow her to do "life" without me leading the way?  *sigh*  The only way I see how right now is to give my daughter solely to God... consecrate her to His care, PRAY and TRUST HIM!!!  Guess the question holds true now more than ever.... HOW CAN YOU SAY YOU LIVE A LIFE OF FAITH WHEN IT REQUIRES SO LITTLE OF IT?!?

If you've "been there, done that".. Please feel free to leave me your words of wisdom  :)